I’m a mess and I’m breaking down slowly and it fucking sucks. I have no one who I can talk to at all. I can’t post it on here. I can’t do anything. I don’t know what I want and I don’t know what I’m doing. I do know that I need to be done with this though. Closing a chapter in my life maybe and time to open another one. I’m physically and mentally unhealthy and I don’t trust anymore. The one person I thought I could trust and the one who u told more about me anyone will ever know the one who made me feel loved for a little while, I can’t trust and I’m alone and bitter and angry and I just want to run away. I’m gonna need my best friend here now more than ever. I’m fed up feeling like shit about myself. I need to get out of here. I want to have fun and do teenage shit that teenagers do not worry about someone and wasting days doing nothing being sad all the time with someone else who’s even more sad. It’s not healthy and this is beyond repair now. This is the last time now. I was always so easily persuaded back to stay but idk. If I saw him and hung out with him and hugged him I know I would be sucked back in completely and that just can’t happen. I can’t be this angry and sad and depressed all the time. This isn’t good. I hate not talking to you for more than an hour but im gonna need to try now I guess. It’s done. Now I need to heal, trust again, be happy again, let people back in. I need to start over. And it’ll hopefully help. Everything hurts. Here’s hoping to better days.